


You show me colors I would never have seen

by LostInAdmiration



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 00:04:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19734364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostInAdmiration/pseuds/LostInAdmiration
Summary: “When I started picking out clothes for myself, people started making comments that my shirts were ugly or my jeans didn’t fit right, so I stopped wearing them. I wore what they told me I looked good in, but I never felt like myself.”“That makes sense,” said Matteo, and it did. Matteo didn’t know what he wanted to wear but he knew what he didn’t want to wear, and maybe that was a start.“Now I just wear what I want. No one else’s opinion but mine matters,” David’s face broke into a brilliant grin, and Matteo sat himself up so that he could kiss the corner of David’s mouth, capturing his beaming smile.-(Or: Matteo thinking about outfits, change, and the future.)





	You show me colors I would never have seen

**Author's Note:**

> Hello again!!
> 
> Another little davenzi thing, because they are a whole lot of fun to write. This is inspired by the abiball special episode, revolving around Matteo discovering his identity and finding his place in the world. And for the record I am fully on team 'Matteo's outfit was great' you guys are just mean.
> 
> A huge thank you to [Sarah](https://canonicallyanxious.tumblr.com/), for being an inspiration for this, my writing cheerleader, and an excellent beta. <3
> 
> Title is from Preach by Keiynan Lonsdale

  
  
  
One of Matteo’s least favourite things to do was go shopping. Which was unfortunate, since that was exactly what he was doing. Grocery shopping wasn’t so bad, other than the fact he still hadn’t got his quantities right, and often ended up with a lot of mouldy food to dig out of the fridge, or owed a debt to Hans if he needed to use his food when Matteo ran out too soon. 

Shopping for clothes was completely different, and Matteo hated it.  
He hated that every store played the same three songs on repeat, he hated that they were always warm and stuffy and there was always a child screaming at the top of their lungs somewhere, and that the aisles all became some sort of labyrinth he kept getting lost in. 

What he hated the most, though, was actually trying to find clothes he liked. They were onto their third shop with no luck, and Matteo was dragging his feet behind David, who was trying his best to stay positive.

“Let’s just leave it. Go home,” Matteo said, stopping to rub his hands over his face. The fluorescent lights of the shopping mall were stinging his eyes and he was sick of staring at clothes and trying but failing to see himself wearing them.

David just nodded, taking a step back so he could lace his and Matteo’s hands together, and Matteo felt a wave of relief wash over him.

“You’ve got plenty of time to find something for the ball,” David said kindly, even though that wasn’t true.

There was just a few days to go, and Matteo knew everyone else had planned out their outfits months ago. Jonas had agonised over what colour his tie should be, and had looked hilariously offended when Matteo told him they both looked the same. He’d learned way too much about different styles of dresses from Hanna and Sam, and the second Matteo had heard Kiki talking to Carlos about couples’ colour schemes, he’d checked out of the conversation.

Matteo had gone with Abdi and David when they went to a tailor’s to have their suits properly fitted, since David had said his last suit was at least two sizes too big and a few years old, and Abdi had never owned a suit in his life. Though the whole process was boring to Matteo who spent most of it sitting and waiting with the occasional noncommittal noises when Abdi asked for his opinion, he was glad he got to see David’s blinding grin firsthand when he showed Matteo the finished product.

“Do you like it?” David had asked, and Matteo saw a flicker of nervousness darken his face for a moment as he pulled at the jacket sleeves and looked down at his shoes.

This was new to the both of them - their first proper event together - and Matteo knew it was out of both of their comfort zones. Matteo didn’t have any hesitation about taking David as his boyfriend - that was the one thing he was more than happy about - but it was away from the warm, easy routine they usually had with each other, and neither of them particularly liked of change.

In that moment Matteo almost told David that he didn’t care what he wore, that anything looked good on him, but he knew that wasn’t the type of answer David was looking for.

“I love it,” Matteo replied, and he meant it. He got up to walk around David before leaning in to press a kiss to his temple. “Everyone’s going to be jealous that I have the most handsome date at the ball.”

David had snorted and shook his head, calling Matteo an idiot under his breath, but pulled Matteo into a hug and squeezed him tightly regardless, and Matteo knew he’d given the right answer.

Finding something for Matteo was proving to be much harder. Matteo had half heartedly been looking for things online every now and again, but each time he had quickly given up after scrolling past a dozen identical looking plain shirts. This was the first time he’d actually gone out shopping to find something for the ball, but it felt just as pointless.  
As they walked towards the exit, Matteo watched a child with a stormy expression be dragged along by her mother who was cooing at some pink frilly dresses in a store window nearby, and he smiled to himself.

“I think the last time I went shopping was when I was I was about that age,” Matteo said, nodding towards the girl when David looked at him.

“Really?” David asked, raising an eyebrow. They both laughed under their breaths when the girl made a retching noise after her mother showed her another frilly dress.

“Yeah, I think I was about as enthusiastic as that kid when my mum made me get new clothes,” Matteo mumbled. He would drag his feet as his mother trailed him through every shop, occasionally holding a shirt up to his chest before throwing it in the basket whilst Matteo scowled.

Matteo looked at the girl again to see she was grinning this time, but was looking away from the window full of dresses and over towards where David and Matteo were standing. Matteo frowned, thinking the girl was staring at him, before he turned around to see David pulling a ridiculous face at the girl. He had his eyes crossed and his face scrunched up, head tilted to the side and tongue sticking out. When David realised Matteo was watching, he tried to straighten up his face, looking embarrassed. Matteo could hear the girl behind him giggling uncontrollably, and he felt his own face spread into a grin as David ducked his head.

Matteo hooked his finger under David’s chin to ease his head back up before kissing him. David sometimes did things on impulse and then immediately regretted them, like he wasn’t allowed to do anything that wasn’t carefully thought out and planned beforehand. The impulsive things were when David’s personality shone through best in blinding colour. Matteo was getting to see those moments much more often now and he loved it - loved him.

David grinned back at Matteo, giving his hand a squeeze.

“Home?” he reminded Matteo, since they’d come to a standstill halfway out of the shopping centre. Matteo had found that happening a lot - him losing time when he was with David - he didn’t mind at all.

“Home,” Matteo agreed, squeezing David’s hand back.

Soon they were sitting on the tram on the way back to Matteo's flat, David’s head resting on Matteo’s shoulder as he watched the world go by from the window. Matteo tried to picture himself wearing a suit like the rest of the boys, but immediately rejected the thought. Wearing a suit reminded him of church as a child, where his tie was always too tight around his neck and his sleeves too long. Suits felt too rigid to him - too constricting.

A part of him wished he could just go in his normal clothes, because then at least they’d be comfortable and familiar, but he also knew that’d make him the odd one out. The other part of him actually wanted to dress up - he wanted to look as smart as David did, to feel happy and proud and have good pictures of him and his friends all dressed up that he could keep forever.

When they finally got home Matteo breathed out a sigh, feeling the tension leave his body and be immediately replaced with a heavy tiredness. He made a beeline for his room, flopping down onto his bed before sitting himself up against the wall and moving over to make room for David.

“You really hate shopping that much?” David asked, leaning into Matteo’s side and wrapping an arm around his waist.

Matteo nodded “I’m never going to find an outfit for this stupid ball,” he said, trying his best not to sound too petulant.

David just made a sympathetic noise and turned his head to kiss Matteo’s shoulder, and Matteo was grateful that David didn’t try to convince him otherwise. He was sick of his friends insisting he just buy a suit, or showing him clothes and telling him how good he’d look in them even though Matteo knew that wasn’t true.

David suddenly hauled himself back up and Matteo made a noise of protest, which David ignored.

“What’s your favourite piece of clothing?” he asked, gesturing to the pile of clothes precariously stacked on top of a desk chair.

“The jumper,” Matteo answered, pointing to a grey jumper near the top of the pile.

David stared at it for a few seconds, then frowned.

“That’s my jumper,” he said.

“That’s why it’s my favourite,” Matteo replied matter of factly. David rolled his eyes but didn’t try to hide his smile.

“You could wear a jumper, if you wanted to,” David said, sifting through the pile of clothes, but Matteo shook his head.

“I’m not wearing a jumper to our graduation ball,” Matteo replied, shuffling uncomfortably. There was a pressure squeezing at his chest, a feeling he couldn’t quite describe. He pictured himself at the ball, stood next to David, and nothing he could think of wearing made that pressure dissipate.

David hummed and moved to sit on the end of the bed, watching Matteo. He was waiting patiently for Matteo to figure out his feelings and set them out into words.

“It shouldn’t be this hard to find something to wear to this stupid ball,” Matteo grumbled, letting himself fall forward so he was face down on the bed.

David immediately began combing his fingers through Matteo’s hair, and Matteo sighed and reached out to rest his hand on David’s thigh.

For the first thirteen years of his life, Matteo had always just worn what his mother had set out for him, what she told him suited him best. He’d never thought much of it, not cared what he’d worn, but now he did, and he didn’t know what to do about it. The clothes he had now were ones he’d gotten when he’d moved out from his family home, but he hadn’t put much thought into those either. He had started to like some of them a little more lately, since David had given them back after weeks of keeping them for himself - he’d started to feel much more comfortable in them.

Matteo turned his head so he could speak, and David’s hand moved so he could stroke his thumb across Matteo’s cheek instead.

“Nothing I would choose to wear suits me. It just doesn’t look right.” It wasn’t a great explanation but Matteo couldn’t think of any other way to say it.

It usually didn’t matter that Matteo didn’t put much thought into how he looked, or the strange out of place feeling he felt when he thought too hard about it, but sometimes it was amplified and it was too uncomfortable to ignore.

“I get that,” David said quietly, brushing his finger softly across the hinge of Matteo’s jaw, making him shiver. “For a while I got Laura to buy all of my clothes because I didn’t know what I wanted, and everything I picked made me feel weird.”

Matteo turned himself onto his back so he could look up at David. David was already watching Matteo, hand still on Matteo’s cheek and his fingers fanned out, moving from side to side gently.

“You look good in everything,” Matteo pointed out. He might be biased, but he didn’t care.

David smirked and rolled his eyes, prodding at Matteo’s cheek.

“Shut up,” he mumbled, and then raised an eyebrow. “I could say the same to you.”

“Is that why you keep stealing all of my clothes?” Matteo countered, grinning when David flicked at his nose.

“Literally half of the clothes in that pile are my clothes,” David argued, pointing to Matteo’s clothes again. Matteo just grinned up at David - he knew his and David’s wardrobes had quickly gotten tangled up together, and that neither of them really minded that much.

David spoke again after a few beats of silence, whilst Matteo picked at the hem of David’s trousers, pulling on a loose string.  
“When I started picking out clothes for myself, people started making comments that my shirts were ugly or my jeans didn’t fit right, so I stopped wearing them. I wore what they told me I looked good in, but I never felt like myself.”

“That makes sense,” said Matteo, and it did. Matteo didn’t know what he wanted to wear but he knew what he didn’t want to wear, and maybe that was a start.

“Now I just wear what I want. No one else’s opinion but mine matters,” David’s face broke into a brilliant grin, and Matteo sat himself up so that he could kiss the corner of David’s mouth, capturing his beaming smile.

“What about my opinion? Does that matter?” he joked, raising an eyebrow.

David leant forward to rest his forehead against Matteo’s, still grinning.

“You just said I looked good in everything,” he reminded Matteo, who scrunched his face up.

“I suppose I did,” he replied, “though I draw the line at camo print stuff,” he added, expression darkening.

David laughed loudly and it rang through the room, then bubbled up in Matteo’s chest until he was laughing too.

“I’m going to buy a full camouflage outfit,” David declared with a nod, making Matteo laugh even more.

“Ah, I guess we have to break up then. It was nice while it lasted,” Matteo shrugged, though he made no effort to move away from David.

David gasped, biting his lip to hide the laughter trying to escape as he shoved at Matteo’s shoulder. Matteo let himself fall backwards onto the bed again, and David followed him, moving to plant his knees on either side of Matteo’s body and leaning over him, hands splayed out on Matteo’s chest.

“You’re such an asshole. You’d still love me and you know it,” David said smugly. He was grinning at Matteo, hair falling into his face and fingers on his left hand drumming a rhythm into Matteo’s chest.

Matteo’s heart began to swell until it felt too big for his chest again. It was almost overwhelming, sometimes, how much he loved David. He was pretty certain that nothing could ever change that.

He didn’t say that though. Instead he shrugged again, feigning nonchalance, and earned a jab to his chest for it.

“Asshole,” David repeated, though it sounded nothing but fond. He knew Matteo couldn’t possibly mean it, knew that there was a special place in Matteo’s heart made just for him.

David let himself flop down, overlapping his legs with Matteo’s and resting his head on Matteo’s chest, humming a contented sound when Matteo buried his fingers into his hair and began threading them through.

“I thought we were meant to be looking for clothes?” Matteo said, though he’d much rather stay tangled up with David for as long as he could.

David reached out and took Matteo’s free hand, rubbing his thumb across his knuckles.

“You’ll find something, and you’ll look great,” he replied simply, looking up to Matteo so he could smile at him. “It’ll all work out.”

*

It did work out in the end, like David had said. Matteo spent his night in a world of chaotic colour, filled with his friends’ laughter and one too many drinks. His head was fuzzy from the noise and the beer, but everything else inside him felt completely still, like the storm that had been raging inside of him had finally calmed for a while. He noticed he’d had that more often nowadays - the calm feeling. He was still getting used to it, but knew to revel in it whenever it came along.

David convinced Matteo to dance with him, and Matteo knew he probably looked ridiculous to anyone watching, but also knew he didn’t care. He smiled until his face ached and danced till his feet hurt and laughed so hard it made him lightheaded, and he got to watch all the people he cared about do much of the same.

The songs slowed, and Matteo pulled David close and hooked his chin over David’s shoulder, smiling when he felt David sigh deeply and hug him back just as tight.

Matteo could see Abdi and Jonas dancing together - though he wasn't sure it could be described as dancing since it was more like them just flailing their arms around and whooping. He could see Amira by the bar, talking to a boy that he didn’t recognise, but she was smiling brightly and he was grinning right back at her. Hanna was dancing with Mia, Kiki, and Sam, hugging them both tightly as they all sang along so loudly that Matteo could hear them from where he and David were.

Carlos was missing, and Matteo felt a pang of sadness for him; his absence had been so obvious earlier when the rest of the boys had been sat together talking. They’d all sat down together in a circle and instinctively left a place for Carlos despite the fact he wouldn’t be coming. Abdi had spent most of the night sending hundreds of videos to Carlos, mostly making fun of his friends’ dancing to try and cheer Carlos up.

David pulled Matteo from his thoughts to ask him if he wanted another drink, and Matteo nodded gratefully.

“While you’re there, find out who that guy talking to Amira is,” Matteo shouted into David’s ear.

David laughed and rolled his eyes, shoving at Matteo’s chest.

“Don’t be nosey,” he shouted back, pressing a kiss to Matteo’s cheek before making a face when the pink powder on Matteo’s face got stuck to David’s lips. Matteo laughed as he watched David go, and carried on watching everyone from his space on the dancefloor.

Someone tapped Matteo on the shoulder, and Matteo spun around so fast he almost knocked heads with Sara, who was watching him with an expression that Matteo couldn’t work out.

“What?” Matteo asked, though his voice was immediately lost to the music.

Sara and Matteo hadn’t spoken much, and Matteo didn’t blame her. She was a good person, and he had broken her heart. At first he hadn’t understood why she was so upset, because he was clearly never a good boyfriend to her and he thought it shouldn’t be that much of a loss. But now he understood what it was like to care so deeply for someone - how all encompassing it was - it didn’t matter if the other person didn’t feel the same way. Matteo was at least glad that they could be civil now, especially since she and Leonie were so close with David.

Sara tilted her head to the side, mouth tilting up into a small smile. “You look different,” she shouted over the music. It took a few seconds for Matteo to figure out what she said, but when he did, his frown deepened.

Sara stepped forward to talk into Matteo’s ear. She was stumbling slightly and her eyes were glassy, so clearly she was as drunk as Matteo felt. She put a hand on his shoulder and when she spoke this time Matteo heard her loud and clear.

“I mean you look happy,” she said. There was no malice in her voice, she just said it as a fact, and she gave Matteo’s shoulder a squeeze before stepping away from him again.

Matteo thought of when he was with Sara, when he’d felt like he was stuck at the end of a tunnel where everything was monochrome with no light in sight. He still felt like that, sometimes - it didn’t just magically go away - but he found himself wanting to get away from that feeling now, rather than being comfortable stuck in the darkness. He was trying his best to see colour in every day, now. It was easiest on days like this, easier still when David was there with his comforting warmth to remind Matteo he wouldn’t be stuck forever.

As if on cue, Matteo caught sight of David stood just behind Sara. He gave a confused look and nodded towards Sara in question. Matteo shrugged at David before turning back to Sara and smiling at her. It wasn’t hard to look at her now, like it had been before. He’d always used to avoid her eyes - partly because he was scared she’d see something he was trying so desperately to hide, and partly because of the guilt that weighed on him whenever he saw her. Her eyes now were earnest and watching him with no judgement or bitterness. Matteo didn’t feel like he’d earned the right for her to not resent him anymore, but he was trying.

“You do too,” Matteo eventually replied, and he meant it. He and Sara were never right for each other, and they both had known that from the start.

Sara just nodded, a short and stilted movement, and then gave Matteo another small smile before turning away from him. Leonie was waiting, stood beside David and holding her hand out to Sara. Matteo watched as Leonie dragged her friend away and further into the dance floor, both of them laughing loudly over the music.

“What was that all about?” someone shouted in Matteo’s ear, making him jump and curse. He turned and pushed at David’s shoulder, who just grinned at him.

“She told me I looked happy,” Matteo said, and David looked just as confused as Matteo was.

“Maybe she’s starting to like you a little bit again,” David said as he wrapped an arm around Matteo’s waist and squeezed.

“At least that means I can live without having her and Leonie glare at me like they want to scratch my eyes out every time I see them,” Matteo replied, making David laugh loudly.

“Unlikely. Leonie still hates you, probably will hate you forever,” David said solemnly, making Matteo throw his head back and groan.

“Can’t you talk to her? Tell her I’m nice really?” Matteo pleaded. As if she could hear them Leonie caught Matteo’s eye from over where she was dancing with her friends, and her face immediately darkened.

“Absolutely not. Leonie likes me, and I do not want to be on her bad side,” David said, waving to Leonie who rearranged her face into a smile and waved back enthusiastically.

Matteo elbowed David in the side, and then again for good measure when David laughed at his stormy expression.

“Ow, this is not how you get Leonie to like you,” David protested between laughter, so Matteo stepped on David’s foot instead, making him laugh even harder.

David moved in a little closer to Matteo before he spoke again.

“She knows you’re a good person really. Anyone with eyes can see that,” he said, voice softer. Matteo leaned into him, resting his head on David’s shoulder and stepping on David’s foot - much more lightly this time - as a silent thanks.

“I think you’re biased,” Matteo said, letting his head fall onto David’s shoulder. The noise and chaos and warmth of everything had suddenly hit him with force, and the tiredness that was creeping over him was almost overwhelming.

“I definitely am,” David mumbled into Matteo’s ear, and brushed his knuckles across Matteo’s cheek. “But I’m also very right.”

The crowd was starting to thin now, people slowly leaving and calling out goodbyes to each other over the music. Matteo was craving familiarity, desperate to go home and wash off all the powder that was sticking to his skin before curling up in bed and getting rid of the heavy tiredness taking over him.

“Do you want to go home?” David asked, like he had read Matteo’s mind.

“Definitely,” Matteo replied quickly, grabbing David’s hand moving to make a beeline for the door, but was immediately yanked backwards when David didn’t budge.

“We have to say goodbye to everyone. Remember we won’t be seeing them for a while,” David explained, challenging Matteo’s scowl with a raised eyebrow.

Matteo groaned loudly, knowing David was right. He was grateful that a lot of people had left so he didn’t have to fight through the crowd to get to his friends. They each pulled him into bone crushing hugs - Abdi nearly knocked Matteo over with his enthusiasm - and then Matteo found David’s hand again so that they could leave together.

The hall had been warm and stuffy, and the contrasting cold outside hit Matteo like a tonne of bricks, making him swear under his breath and pull his shoulders up to his ears.

Matteo jumped and swore again when something was unceremoniously dumped on his head, and he heard David’s muffled laughter as he tried to pull it off.

“You look cold,” David explained when Matteo frowned as he realised David had thrown his jacket at him.

“You’re not cold?” Matteo asked, pulling the jacket on. The sleeves were a little too short, but it was still warm from David’s body heat, and Matteo sighed gratefully.

“Nope. It’s not cold, you’re just a baby,” David said with a grin.

Matteo rolled his eyes, taking his hat off his head and putting it on David’s head instead. David’s grin grew even wider as he rearranged the hat so that it was backwards and lopsided. It should have looked stupid. Matteo was kind of mad that it didn’t.

“You’re just always warm. It’s like sleeping with a space heater,” Matteo retorted. David really was always warm, and Matteo loved that about him, especially since he was almost always cold. He’d tucked his hands under David’s shirt plenty of times, or pushed his feet into the back of David’s knees when they were curled up together. David had never complained about it, just hugged Matteo tighter until he was warm enough.

They walked in silence for a while, Matteo swinging their joined hands and slowly swinging them higher and higher, whilst David hummed something under his breath that Matteo couldn’t quite place.  
The streets were fairly empty, just a few people here and there walking by and breaking the quiet bubble Matteo and David had made for a few moments before disappearing again.

A group of girls were huddled in the bus stop, arms linked. Two of them were dozing off, heads nodding forward, and the one in the middle was trying and failing to light a cigarette - her lighter sparking up and illuminating her face before dying out too soon.

“You know,” David’s voice pulled Matteo back from his thoughts, “I’d never smoked until I met you.”

Matteo snorted and looked over to David, who was rubbing his thumb across Matteo’s knuckles, watching their hands with an expression that almost looked like wonder.

“You’re lying,” Matteo replied, trying to think back, sure David was making fun of him.

“I’m not!” David said, halting the movement of his hand so he could look up at Matteo. “I’d never even smoked a cigarette, let alone a joint. I thought my lungs were going to collapse the first time we smoked together.”

Matteo barked out a disbelieving laugh before frowning at David. “Why didn’t you just say no, then?” he asked.

David shrugged. “Because then I wouldn’t have gotten a chance to talk to you,” he said, looking away from Matteo’s gaze and going back to drawing patterns across Matteo’s hand.

Matteo thought back to before he and David knew each other. It seemed like forever ago despite the fact that at the start of the year, neither of them had known the other existed. Matteo would have done anything to get to speak to David, say any kind of dumb joke just to see David’s smile. He’d been so desperate to get to know David, like he was drawn to him in a way Matteo would never be able to explain. Something inside of him had known David was important; it had sparked up suddenly and grown stronger unimaginably quickly, and Matteo had chased after it without even thinking.

Matteo didn’t know how to explain that to David though, so instead he pulled David to a stop for a moment so that he could kiss him. David smiled into the kiss, and Matteo knew that David understood exactly what he had felt when they met, though it was nothing compared to how he felt now.

“We would have met no matter what,” Matteo mumbled when they broke apart and started walking again. He lifted up their joined hands to his mouth so he could kiss the inside of David’s wrist, and David hummed thoughtfully.

“You think?” he asked, and when he looked up to Matteo, he looked hopeful.

Matteo nodded, and his heart swelled in his chest at David’s responding grin.

“So you’re saying I didn’t have to smoke all that shitty weed just to get to know you?” David said, smile growing wider still when Matteo rolled his eyes and stepped to the side so he could kick David’s ankle.

“Shut up, it’s not like I forced you, you-” Matteo started to argue but David interrupted,

“You coerced me into taking drugs,” he announced dramatically, his eyes wide and voice scandalous. “I was young and impressionable.”

“You’re older than me,” Matteo said loudly, but they were both laughing uncontrollably by now, giddy from their own stupidity.

Matteo rarely smoked these days, anyway. It had been a crutch for him, and he didn’t need anything to hold him up any more. He smiled to himself at the thought.

They got home - Matteo’s flat again, since it was closer, and since they knew his flatmates were all out - and the two boys dumped their shoes outside of the door, still managing to trail in clumps of powdered paint behind them both.

“I call the shower first,” Matteo called as he hurried straight towards the bathroom, laughing when he heard David cursing at him.

Matteo was too tired to do anything more than just let the warm water of the shower run over him and watch as all the different colours danced their way down the drain. He didn’t know how he felt about school being officially over, not completely. It didn’t feel real yet, like he’d be back in class come Monday, because it had been his constant routine for so much of his life. Another part of him was a little bit afraid, though he would never admit it out loud. He had a whole stretch of time in front of him that was unknown, filled with plenty of maybes and too many what if’s. He had that small scared part of him under control though with the spark of excitement that drowned it out whenever he thought of the future. He didn’t have plans for what he’d study next, or if he’d find a job next, but he had things to look forward to, and he figured that was good enough to keep him moving forward.

When Matteo got out of the shower, hair still dripping down his neck, he called out to David with no answer. Matteo went to the kitchen first, since David had complained about how hungry he was all the way home, and when he wasn't there, he looked in his room.

David was fast asleep, curled up on the bed and drooling on the pillow, covering the bedsheets in various colours of powder paint.  
Matteo almost didn’t want to wake David because he looked so comfortable despite the fact he was still wearing his suit and was covered in paint and confetti. His fingers were twitching ever so slightly in his sleep, lips moving, speaking words Matteo couldn’t hear. Matteo walked closer and knelt by the bed, reaching forward and brushing David’s hair out of his eyes before poking him in the cheek, making David groan and bat him away.

“You need to shower,” Matteo spoke quietly, not quite wanting to completely break the peace yet.

David groaned again, opening one eye. “I can shower tomorrow,” he muttered.

“We’re leaving early tomorrow, remember? That was your idea,” Matteo countered, prodding at David’s face again. “And you’re getting powder all over my bed.”

David shut his eyes tightly and scrunched his face up. “I’m too tired,” he whined, and Matteo rolled his eyes but couldn’t help his fond smile.

“Fine. But at least get changed, you’re going to regret sleeping in what you’re wearing right now,” Matteo said, getting up and grabbing the shirt and boxer shorts off his laundry pile and throwing them at David, who sighed in relief and somehow managed to change, hardly lifting his head off of his pillow as he did.

When Matteo got into the bed beside David, pulling the sheets over them both, David immediately scooted over to rest his head on Matteo’s chest.

“I’ve literally just showered and you’re getting that fucking powder all over me again,” Matteo grumbled, but when David went to move back again Matteo wrapped around him and held him close anyway.

David’s breathing was already growing steadier and deeper again, and Matteo felt his own eyes getting heavy as he counted David’s breaths. His feet and eyes were aching and there was still ringing in his ears but he felt happy, peaceful.

“Fuck, I haven’t even finished packing yet,” David mumbled suddenly, making Matteo huff out a laugh.

“You’re going to regret that, and you’re going to have a hangover,” Matteo replied, threading his fingers through David’s hair and not caring that it was slowly turning his hands blue.

“I won’t. I don’t get hangovers,” David said, voice thick with sleep.

Matteo laughed louder this time, running his finger down David’s nose and leaving a trail of blue there.

“That’s a lie and both of us know it,” Matteo said. “Do you remember when we all played Abdi’s weird version of beer pong?”

David groaned and nodded, buying his face into Matteo’s shirt some more.

“I swear I was only ill because he poisoned every drink,” David argued, and Matteo relented, humming in agreement.

They’d both probably have hangovers tomorrow, would be running late and will probably have forgotten most of the things they’d planned to take, but Matteo wasn’t worried. It was almost worrying how not worried he was, actually. Any sort of change in Matteo’s normal routine made him feel uncomfortable, made him feel out of his depth and out of control. His and David’s trip was barely a plan, just a wish to get away for a while and see where their adventure would take them, and usually something like that would send Matteo into a panic, but all he felt was calm. It was like something inside him knew that this was right, and that it’d be ok; it was a foreign feeling, but Matteo liked it.

“Are you nervous?” Matteo asked. He suddenly had a nasty pang of worry that David might regret the plans they had made, and decide it wasn’t worth the anxiety.

Matteo had to repeat his question, since David was half asleep, but when David heard properly, he hummed in thought, and Matteo waited for David to speak. Matteo had quickly learnt to give David plenty of time to think about his answer, because he always thought so carefully about everything; let the thoughts turn over in his head a few times before he spoke.

“No,” David answered eventually, his voice clear. “I feel like I should be, maybe, but I’m not.”

Matteo laughed, and David tilted his head up to frown at him in question.

“I was thinking the same,” Matteo explained, smoothing out David’s frown with his thumb.

“We’ll be ok,” David said, smiling. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

“We could get kidnapped, robbed, lost…” Matteo began to list on his fingers, making David laugh out loud and shake his head.

“We’ll be ok,” David said again, but his voice was smoother this time, surer.

Matteo nodded, smoothing David’s hair away from his face so he could kiss his forehead.

“We will,” he agreed, and he could feel it settle in his chest. Matteo felt safe, he felt calm and comfortable, so he captured that feeling and kept tight hold of it as he and David shuffled closer to each other.

Matteo has spent a lot of his life being unsure. Unsure of what he was going to do with his life, unsure of where he fit, even unsure of what clothes he should wear. But he was more sure of David than he had been of anything before, and because of that everything else around him was slowly settling into place.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on [tumblr,](https://call-this-a-mask.tumblr.com/) if you like!


End file.
